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Well hey, I’m 52 years old.

And you know, that kind of excludes me from the know-all generation of continually improving online perfection, from website to Facebook posting, to Podcast and vlogging …. From Social media to cold calling …. Font size to banner colour …. And I realise … It sucks feeling ‘out of it’ and ignorant.

BUT the constant keeping up, the awareness of new technologies, social platforms, design trends – after 40 years of procrastinating about my own art and expression I realise NOW (and maybe too late) …. they are all designed to do nothing but DIVERT MY FOCUS, coax me into donating interest to other things … and for a while, it made me rage with anger and resentment… because it was all my own choice and I neglected my faithful vocation 🙁

Let me explain

Recently my youngest daughter turned 18. Her upcoming dealings with the world as an adult instinctively made me create a list of things for her to watch out for and things to aspire to:

  • Personal expression
  • Fearless belief in instinct
  • Self-confidence in your own voice
  • Don’t make the same mistakes I made (because I have made them for you)

And you know, when I sat and thought about all that – and it seems the liberty and freedom of your children turning into adults gifts this – it left me a little stunned. If only I had taken my own advice

In fact I feel completely disappointed with myself and in need of someone to blame …. But who? The world?

Or myself?

So bear with me and let me make this post clear

I have spent my adult life working; as a bookseller, publisher, typesetter, designer, marketer, web designer … the list goes on.

I ignored my real focus and faith and decided to teach myself new skills.

I believe I am a painter … an artist … and my true language is in gesture and strokes. BUT, cowardly, I found it easier to ignore and pursue success in other ways/fields/languages.

In fact, I achieved success in most of my pursuits, so I know I have the capacity for good communication and making people believe in me. Despite my ignored faith … I achieved some self-confidence and success.

But it was all false … ignoring my passion was nothing but a lie. I don’t want that for my children.

The MOST important thing in life is to DO your thing and have full faith in it –

So I have to rethink …. a shock to the system

What the f*ck am I doing with the rest of my life – my freedom and liberty (which is a gift I am lucky enough to realise)

So I had to think about what I know and how I can teach myself to remember my voice.

And so I have started –

I am using all the skills and knowledge that I have learned over my past and I am going to apply it to my new commitment to being a good painter

And I think I am going to document it …. Because I know that the conversation I am going to have with myself will be genuine… why the hell do I want to lie to myself anymore? And I am fairly certain I am not alone in having these feelings

So it occurs to me, the successes and failures that I go through … let me share it with you

When I use my knowledge to post, blog, podcast or youtube about it – I want to share it. I am going to show you exactly how I did it and what the rewards have been for me.

Conversations I have with fellow artists about the truth in art and their work, their voice and aspiration … I will record it and share it

My inspirations; music, books, art …. Whatever turns me on and why … shared

Over the past decade, we have all voluntarily given up information to Google, Facebook and other social media as if we didn’t know what was happening and I don’t think they are going away (nor do I think they should). We are all becoming NAKED to each other.

And the only thing that will rise above the useless scum, the irrelevant and the unimportant … is the truth

I want to be true to myself, talk truth, act truly, paint truth and declare my faith and expression through that … nothing to hide – so why not share that with the world?

Being creative and true

Even my experiments and failures … i shall not be afraid of showing I am human.

So that’s my goal – that’s what I’m going to do.

And I guess along the way I will be tackling practical things that I have experience in. My career path has taught me many things that will be useful – and again, I am eager to share

  • Webdesign – is it really so hard?
  • Image digitisation – can I take pix of my work on my mobile phone?
  • Email marketing – I need to have a list??? Where do I start?
  • Social Media and how to do it – Facebook… Really!!!???
  • Being found – How to wave and be noticed and not be afraid of being found
  • Forcing yourself out there – Starting, providing and even interrupting a conversation
  • Pricing – what am I worth/

Then, of course, there will be the more interesting, philosophical, spiritual and inspirational questions about the work itself and how it was born.

If you want to join in, then let me share my findings with you. If it is helpful then I will be truly humbled and delighted. Dialogue is vital and perhaps we can share experience and value and be of help to eachother and others.